Bill Beattie:The aim of education should be to teach us rather how to think, than what to think - rather to improve our minds, so as to enable us to think for ourselves, than to load the memory with thoughts of other men.
It is said that education can be considered a good basis for anybody’s character or even personality. I believe that. Proper training can help others speak or even act differently. Although not all teachers are actually teachers by profession, some of them are teachers because they accidentally landed a job being one. You probably don’t understand what I mean so I will give you an example. Take me for instance. I never studied a course in college that was related to education. I only studied art. Well, I guess I can still be a teacher but simply an art one and not any other subjects. But here I am breaking away from the typical teachers out there, no offense meant. Yes, you are right, I do teach. I teach English but not in a school though but rather, an online school wherein I conduct English classes online. Who do I teach? I teach Koreans of all ages and of all levels and I am proud to say that I have been teaching them for more than 3 years now. Can you believe it?
You’re probably wondering how the hell I got this job or how did I find out about such an industry...Well my answer will sound complicated but I will do my best to make it simpler. I was an artist before venturing into teaching. I knew that my first passion was really art but I also knew that I will never get rich or never be fulfilled in that kind of field alone so I decided to try something new. At first, I did try being a call center which made me last for 3 months or so but I still felt incomplete. Then, I found out about teaching online. I was hesitant to do it at first since first of all; I am not a teacher, nor an education graduate or even a person who is particular with grammar, accent and the like. In short, I was a green horn but then again, I still conquered my fear and dealt with it. I got in the training but was not able to continue since the management said I was inadequate to become an educator. My first attempt to be a teacher was a failure but that didn’t stop me from wanting to get a job in the said field.
Later that month, I decided to give it another shot. This time, I landed a spot in another online institution. I thought I was just there for training but it turned out that I did pass. I had a week of training and then was given students. Talking a lot is ok since there’s sense to it. I teach English now and that’s all that counts. Fortunately, the students liked me and I became an instant hit to them. I stayed in that company for almost 2 years and I must say that they really taught me a lot. I became a seasoned teacher because of them. Not to mention that I did gain experience being a part of the management for a while before I left.
And now, my journey begins once again, as I take the role of being a teacher again in another company. I believe that being a teacher gives you the chance to change the world one day at a time. I should be a role model, a mentor but then again also become a friend. The bond between a teacher and a student is a bond like no other. I admit to have become emotional over some students, whether it was good or bad but I did learn from the experience and I do not regret anything from it. I know I am still an artist and I do my best to fuse my style in teaching with it. I never forget where I came from and hopefully, creativity is the key to success. I am proud to be a teacher even if I’m only an accidental one. Until when will I teach? That I will just have to wait and see...
Get over the idea that only children should spend their time in study. Be a student so long as you still have something to learn, and this will mean all your life. ~Henry L. Doherty
Sometimes I wonder what life has in store for me. Sometimes I just gaze into the moon and the stars as if they are watching over me. I looked how they shone brightly and how much they made me realize, how lucky I am to still be alive. I never thought of myself as a lucky person, I just think I'm me. I can be normal but I am as unlucky as anyone can be.
I have taken many roads but I have no idea where they would lead me. Some of them, I continued while others, I struggled and left behind. Life is a never ending journey and you only live once. I have had my share of misfortunes and perhaps tons of mistakes as well but the fact is, I learned and made sure I really did. I made up for it and hopefully, it was worth it.
I am not a bad person. Although some people perceive me to be one. I am simply misunderstood. I am mere human, you see. Who can bring me close to fulfilling my dreams or even unlocking my destiny? The path I have taken can sometimes lead me astray but like a rock on the stream, I simply continue moving. I move where the current takes me like a dried leaf on an autumn day.
I have heard and said enough. I want to be carefree. I don't care what others day nor think anymore. I just want to be me. After all, you can't really please everybody so why should you exert effort in trying to in the first place? The life I have now is based on my reality and I made myself who I think I should be. Perhaps you should too. My so called life is the way I live it and nobody can say anything about that!
Ho-hum! *The weekend is over...*
Well, Did I start the week right? Hmm...that’s a tough cookie to chew. Haha! Anyway, I think I almost didn’t. Why? Well, I set my alarm for 4 AM today and I slept at 11 PM last night. I was tired so I was fast asleep as soon as I hit my pillows. There I was snoring away. Then, I had a dream that I was running late for work that day. I immediately woke up and thought that it was a really bad dream. Unfortunately, it was quarter to 5. Geez! My job starts at 6!
I didn’t panic. I got up quickly. I went to the bathroom. I took a little shower and got dressed as fast as I could. I didn’t have time to drink coffee or have a light breakfast. I had to be fast since it’s a Monday and it is the start of the week so I will never know whether there is traffic or what. I woke my mum up and told her to lock the door because I am running late and I better get a move on.
I waited for a little while to ride a tricycle and then I was off to finding a cab. I know it is expensive and it isn’t a good thing to get used to but I had to or else I wouldn’t get to the office on time. It is a good thing that there was a cab in sight right away. In no time I was in the cab on my way to the office. Hooray! I got here on time. I even had about 8 minutes more before work starts which gave me enough time to drink some hot black coffee. Whew! What a start!
Now, work is over and I am heading home. Hmm...I wonder what’s cooking at home? I am famished. I want to eat something before sleeping this afternoon. Oh well, I will just post again here sooner or later. Have a great day people!
Yup, that would describe what happened today.
My USB died on me. I wouldn't give much of a damn if the files inside it were something that I could download again in the internet. Unfortunately, the only file that was inside it was a 10 page fanfic that I started to write.
I felt unhappy about it and maybe a little bit depressed. You see, this is the first fanfic that I have written since my high school days. I had always avoided writing fanfics because my grammar sucks. I have always told myself that I could never be good enough. But three days ago I decided that I didn't give much of a damn if my writing was bad. I just wanted to write. Thus I produced my ten page fic. I began reading about grammar basics only and even applied for an account on Fanfiction.net. I was about to upload the first chapter when I found out that my fucking USB got corrupted.
BYE BYE FANFIC.
WOE IS ME.
I can't help that I feel depressed and lazy right now. I don't even know if I'll write again. But I don't want to
give up this easily. NEVER GIVE UP. IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING.
I guess, I can re-write it into a better fic. Maybe I can include better ideas too. I don't want to give up. I've spent a lot of time making that 1st chapter and I'm not going to throw away my efforts just because one damn USB fucking died. Tomorrow I'll start anew and buy a new USB at CD-R King. Today I'll sleep.
Yeah, sleep. A soldier needs his rest before he charges to battle. FORWARD HO!
Another day has dawned on me. As I slowly wake up and compose myself to be ready for the said day, I start to wonder and ponder. What would this day have in store for me? Yesterday was not my everyday so called perfect day and it wasn’t ideal either. These days, it’s difficult to achieve those. Well, to sum it up, yesterday wasn’t a good day for me and I am feeling that today might not be one either. I don’t know why the past may be haunting me. It still creeps in to my present which shouldn’t really interrupt anything but of course; I do get affected by it. Relationships start and end as usual. Sadly; my first and second one never ended that well. I guess the first one was the worst of them all. Let me tell you more about it… My life isn’t an ideal one nor was it perfect. I had a family consists of my loving parents, my younger sister, my cousins whom I am close to and more. I wasn’t a top student in class but I did my best in academics and excelled in other things like art, music and sports. I had friends but most of them aren’t my best friends. I was just a normal teenager trying to co-exist with everybody else. Actually, I can’t say I am all that normal. Let’s just say that I am a bit different in some ways. People find that strange. My first love was my classmate and my friend for so many years. No, we weren’t childhood sweethearts. We just went to the same school and became good friends. Our love story bloomed when high school was almost about to end. Let’s say that we are late bloomers since everybody else has had their first relationships earlier than that. We thought everything would go along fine but everything changed when we went to our hometown. It is so much different from where we stayed in. With lack of guidance, we got lost. Let’s just say we were so in love that we lost track of everything else. After a couple of years together, I decided to call off the relationship due to many reasons which I did not foresee. It was a bitter pill to swallow for him and so was it for me even if I knew it was for the best. I was lonely but I knew what was right so I disconnected myself from everyone I knew especially those who can connect me to the past where we once were. After a few years, here I am. I may not be rich or anything else but I know that I have done my best to make my life better than it was before. Now, I am trying to go back to that past. I want to be at peace with it but of course, it is my fault why it ended. I did the judgment. All I want is to be friends again or if not just to be civil or in good terms with each other. I never asked for forgiveness for I know that it isn’t easy to give but he has become an angry individual. He has a burning desire for revenge. All he has may only be hatred in his heart. The fire is burning within him. He is consumed by it. I can no longer communicate well with him. Yes, I did move on. I worked for everything. I had mistakes. I had hard times. I did all alone without anybody to comfort me but he never truly understood why I left him. The reasons were unclear to him. No, he cannot move on and I don’t know if he will. Maybe I am wasting my time on him but for some reason, it’s hard to give up especially when there is pressure between old friends. I had the chance to turn my back and walk away last time and I promised myself that I would be brave enough to face it now, no matter what it is. Am I really that bad? He said I killed him. He said I am selfish and that all I ever think about is myself, never considering what happens next or who I leave behind. All I get from him is anger. All I feel for him is sorrow and pain. I am miserable. I want to be free, I need air, I want to break free. When will this end for me and for him? How will all this make sense? Will he ever truly understand me? There’s nothing left to say. I have nothing left to do. All I know is that it’s impossible to go on with this. It’s never right and not okay. It just gets harder every time. I wish that I could just forget about it and throw it all away but I already did it once and this is what happened. Maybe it is my destiny or my karma. Good luck to us and maybe it is better this way…
As I walk to this path called life I start to realize how time flies by so fast but then again some things remain the same and some have completely changed. I myself am lost for words whenever I encounter myself to be in those situations. As I recall, I have never been to any reunions recently but I have been invited to some and yet I feel this way. I never came because I knew of the consequences. I knew about my past and theirs. I assumed to early that I might just be alienated all over again but what if I did go there? Those questions still echo in my midst.
I have always wondered how it would feel to see someone again for the first time after not being together or keeping in touch that much before. It seems hard to be in one. I believe that the only constant thing in this world is change. I know that everything can change and so have I. It just puzzles me that some people think that I have changed too much when in reality, we all did and the worst thing about that is that they changed even more than me but that never really entered my mind and hindered me from talking or communicating with them. So here I am now…
I feel like my past is incomplete. I struggle with memories that I have had so long. All the letters, all the pictures, EVERYTHING! They are still stuck in my head but there are some blurry and unclear parts. I feel like I will never be complete if I don’t go back to the past but how? That question seems to elude me. And then it hit me. The only thing to do would be to try and reach out more to them but it isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. It’s like the more I give effort and time to try it, the more the chance escapes.
I may never find the answer to my question and the missing pieces of my life at the moment bur I strongly believe I will do so in the future so for now I must go on living and keep on trying. All of this may be the consequences of all the things I have done in the past but I should never regret anything. My mind should be clear as I continue this walk through life for I may never be someone better if I hold on to what I know is already gone…
Daaaaaaamn this makes me go gdalfgkajfgklajglkafjglkaf.
Apparently moving to the new office means that I have less space, I have to wear business attire everyday, no internet web surfing, no YM chats and worst of all... no music. gakljglakjgklajgklafjgfkl
Yeah, spare me the "You should be mature about this" comments. Its quite hard to suddenly adapt to an oh so formal environment when I was used to a place where I can pretty much do anything and get away with it.
The good news about this is that I'd be able to learn how to act like a professional employee. The bad news is that I have less time for fun. *headdesk* But I looove fun. *headdesk* I go home late in the evening almost everyday already and I still have damn fucking work on saturdays. Woe is me. My internet life... ;A; My music ;A;. Gaaaaaah!
Hopefully I would be able to adapt smoothly. Good thing is that I have my Ichigo with me. Without my DS I would go totally insane. Kidding. I think... ORZ.
I don't know how I'll go on without music though. I thrive on music and noise. Silence makes me feel deaf and it irritates me to no end.
I'm not planning to resign though. I want to complete my 2 years of service since most of the companies that I read in the classified ads look for candidates with that type of experience. After that I don't know what I'll do. Maybe look for a new job. Damn. I'm just too lazy to look.
Maybe I'll just take this as a challenge. I really do need to grow up and act mature about these things. But I seriously want to have my saturdays free. If I didn't have work on saturdays I might not even complaining since I'd get as much free time as I want. But life sucks. True story. I have to learn to deal with it. Gah. Growing up is such a pain in the arse.
Good luck to me then. Fight-O!
I had a breast ultrasound last monday and the results wasn't good. I have eight (8) cysts in my breasts right now. Four in the left and another four in the right. Its quite scary but I'm going to tackle this in a GAR way. Crying or worrying would do me nothing. I would just pray about this.
I actually didn't want to blog about this but I want to get over it. I want to do whatever I have to do and live my life to the fullest. Nothing's gonna bring me down. Not even breast cysts.
I have to be strong. I'm just 23. I still have a life to live.
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I often ponder about life and the meaning of everything. One of things that I had learned is that change is the only permanent thing in this life. Problems will come and go. The important thing is how you deal with the obstacles that would come your way. These cysts are obstacles and I will overcome them.
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Cosplay shoot on saturday. Am still fixing my costume. I think I need to buy a new white top. Not telling what we would do... lest I jinx it. Am excited though. I miss my famiglia so much.
And oh, welcome Dani and Marien to the famiglia!
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:) I'm happy that I learn a lot of things everyday. One of these is that prejudices and judgements can be changed and should be changed. I was really prejudiced against this certain person for quite a while but I'm learning and I am willing to let go of these judgements so I can take another look by using another perspective. You see, people aren't two dimensional so I want to know another part of the 'story'. I might even be surprised and become happy that I did take another look.
I'm trying to stop myself from judging too quickly. It IS one of my main weaknesses and its hard to stop myself when I detect utter bullshit. I have a radar for those kinds of things. As I said in a post before, I tell things as it is. If I see something that I don't like I would tell it. If I would say that I like something then it is probably true. I hate "plasticity" or the "orocan" type of thinking, thus I strive for honesty.
I know that I am not right all the time so I welcome it when I am proven wrong. Why? Its because I can learn something new. I like it when I can see things in another way. I like it when I can argue with someone and that person can make me see another kind of view... that is if the said person can prove me wrong XD
I guess that comes with having a lawyer for a father. To argue with dad is like that. I wouldn't follow him unless he can prove me wrong and most of the time he can. He has this way of letting me see things differently thus I respect him for it. May it be metaphysical lectures, political musings or debates about religion. Dad is awesome that way. And that's also one of the reasons why I compromise a lot. He makes me see reason too well.
Anyway, that's it for now. :) I'm off to lunch!
This is probably the third time that I had created a memorial post for my beloved guinea pig. I guess this is how I'm trying to cope with the fact that I can't hug or see my little sushi anymore. Its hard for me since I really love my pets and when I love something I find it hard to let go.
I don't think I'll get a new guinea pig but I'll probably buy a shih tzu in the future. Its like my sister's turtle, Igor. There is just one Igor and just getting another one wouldn't be the same.
So here's my tribute to my cute fluffy pig. I'll miss your squeaks a lot.
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In other news....
>__> Really, I never knew that multiply can spawn such drama llama dramu. I survived the Idiot-Multiply-Summer-of-Wank. I can't believe that there would be idiots like that in multiply. The type of idiots who enter another person's blog, goes to create sock puppet accounts then proceeds to whine about it like a primadonna. Even if I read someone else's journal I always remind myself that what is written within a journal is the owner's business - even if I find it insulting. Its what you call respect. It would be a different thing it it was a forum but then again the idiots' brains do not exist. I wasn't even brutal too. I just pointed out something that several veteran cosplayers might have already thought about. The difference is that I have the balls to blog about it. Kufuuu.
DEATHNOTE COSPLAY DRAMU = INSTA' FAIL
I've been called a bitch (is that even an insult? I'd even call that a compliment!), a youkai (at least I'm evil >8D), a person with a high and mighty personality (No, I just got high standards... which also includes my own cosplay. I criticize my own self to death.), and a judgemental person (Which is true, really. And I'm not even insulted since this is one of my known weaknesses. It comes hand in hand with having high standards).
The funny thing is that I was amused by the whole thing. I didn't get angry until the fucker turned on my friends and started to do some name calling. (>__>) That, and the time when a new fucker entered my blog and whined away before his brain finished analyzing what I wrote. Really, I hate it when people twist my words. I didn't even say anything bad about the D.grayman group cosplay and yet this idiot claims that I did. There weren't any specific persons involved so how could that happen? *headdesk*
Ang sabi ko nga dati: "Batu bato sa langit, ang tamaan ay tanga at paranoid"
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I need to do something different for a change. I've been playing Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow for a week now. I like the game but after a while I got tired of it. I'm at the clock tower stage now and those Medusa heads are giving me a hard time.
I'm thinking of giving my DS lite a bit of rest for a while so I can do some other productive hobbies like music (MUST FINISH THAT PIECE LIKE RLY. ORZ.) and painting/drawing (a must too. I have ideas but I'm too lazy to start on anything), take photos (I have a DSLR now, I'm just too lazy to get started) or even write a story (something that I am having a hard time at doing since I'm too bothered by my grammar mistakes. Anyone want to become my beta reader?). Its funny that I have lots of ideas but I have a hard time executing them.
I want to do so many things that I end up doing nothing at all. Its frustrating that I know how to do each and every one of these but I can't seem to concentrate on just one thing. I want to do them all. God, I wish I didn't have work on saturdays so I would have extra time for hobbies. And please give me some focus because I severly lack it.
I guess I should learn to SHUT UP AND JUST DO IT!
Orz.
Oh moonlight, you haunt me, you lure me
You take me into the darkness of the pale blood moon
Shadows lurking, creeping into the loneliness
Surrounded by the never ending abyss
Have I been forgotten by time?
No bounds can hold me, nothing can stop me
Souls incinerated, bitterness and wrath, I dispel
Catastrophe and chaos that’s all that leads me to
I can never run, I can never hide
This is my fate, come and summon me
Is this Hell or simply Purgatory?
Changed and broken, lost without words
Memories shattered, blood on the floor
Dull eyes staring at the blank room, am I slowly fading away?
What has become of me? Am I in a world of discontent?
I want to be safe, I want to be free
No way out, everything’s flashing before me
I can’t stay, I can’t plead, and I don’t belong here
Hate me, love me, despise me, it doesn’t matter now
Don’t wonder what has become of me for this is what’s meant to be...
